Sonny

I wrote this poem sometime last year. And I really didn't understand where it came from. Afterall, it's very clear I haven't birthed any children.. (yet)... i think it was meant to have a double standard, in that sun=son as well... til i realized that my bird Sonny was the one i was was writing about all along.

Sonny, i watched you die in front of me for the last few months of your life. You told me you were dying. I wasn't allowed to take you to the vet and save you. I'm sorry I didn't get to save you the way you saved me. I held you in my arms the entire night of your last few breaths. I fell asleep with you cradled next to me and watched you bleed eternally. I heard you crying from the suffering. All you wanted was some help. I saw the pain in your eyes and the lament in my own. I cried and cried and cried. And then i had to tell you that it would be okay if you had to go. And you went. I went to sleep with my baby boy and woke up with an angel. I wish you were still here with me bud. I need you more than ever. Your sister isn't allowed to live with us anymore. I lost all my children. I lost my best friends. And i lost the pal that would sit on my shoulder and lean over and give me a nice big kiss. I miss how you pecked my tears away. Ever since you left things went completely downhill. I'm losing myself and hope. I don't blame you Sonny. We both know, and God knows whom is to blame. Stay with me Sonny. Rescue Cas-girl and rescue me. Please.


My son

watching over the son
that brightens up my day,
the rays of hope
that twinkle in his eyes.

you warm my head, my hands, my heart.
and as the world is torn apart-
you remain the same;
unaltered, unchanged.

i watch my son rise every morning,
and watch his twinkling eyes slowly dim at night.
Oh, how i wish his presence was permanent;
that for once he doesn't leave sight.

you travel over the valleys;
your love colors the sea.
my heart gazes up to you, my son and sees
you watching over me.